This was a terrible idea...

How was your Columbus Day?

Mine was spent with Mr. ATK in the holy city of Rishikesh. Well, not really in the city, but outside the city camping on a beautiful white sand beach along the Ganges. We went whitewater rafting, kayaking, played badminton, you know, all the things you do in idyllic places like that. But that's not the terrible idea I am talking about. I did get an ayurvedic massage while on the trip which uses a lot of oil and includes a head massage so my hair ended up really greasy. Also the fine white sand sticks to everything so the massage had an exfoliating element to it. So, in retrospect, I consider that a questionable decision, but not a terrible idea.

No, Dear Reader, the terrible idea I am talking about was my volunteering to foster three 50 day old Indian street dogs so they wouldn't be put back out on street. So within the space of 8 months, I have gone from having no dogs to having four. And little fifty day old puppies are not house trained. Of course, neither is Aloo so I guess they have some common ground.*

But anyways, much to Mr. ATK's chagrin, we agreed to take in the puppies. I really wanted to do it, he was less than enthusiastic but when  asked him if he was okay with it, he did one of those passive-aggressive "If that's what you really want" things, so now we have extra puppies. 

Here they are:

               

Nimbu

Russell

Norman

Three extra puppies is a lot of work. Shocking insight, I know. Did I think it would be work? Yes. Did I think it would be this much work? Eh... probably not. I figured we could use Aloo's old wire crate to keep the puppies in the apartment and during the day they could stay in the servant's quarters on the roof. They are too small for walks, so that's less work right there. Right? Right?! 

Wrong. 

Puppies pee. A lot. Seriously, it's amazing how much they pee. Always peeing. And it's hard to move three puppies at a time. So when we were keeping them in the house, every hour I had to take them one at a time up the stairs to the roof. I tried carrying two under my arms and putting one in a bag,** but the one in the bag didn't enjoy that experience. It was hard to get him in the bag and then pick up two other puppies before puppy number 1 scrambled out of the bag.  Then we trying carrying the together in a laundry basket, but they kept trying to climb out while in transit. And, of course, they have sharp little teeth and claws so arms and legs are quickly filled with scratches.  And then there's the fact that old dogs don't seem to like new dogs invading their territory. 

Yes, for some crazy reason, I pictured Aloo taking on a motherly/big sister role and caring lovingly for the puppies. It would be like Diff'rent Strokes. Aloo would be Kimberley, the puppies would be Arnold and Willis, I would be Mr. Drummond, and Mr. ATK would be Ms. Garrett the housekeeper (who would eventually become the dorm mother at Langley boarding school in her own spin off, The Facts of Life.) Unfortunately, unlike the Upper East Side of Manhattan, bringing home extra puppies has not resulted in increased conspiratorial shenanigans between Aloo and her new brothers and sister. Actually, quite the opposite has happened. We learned Aloo does not like to share. Aloo spent most of the first evening growling at the puppies, who we kept in a wire crate in a separate room. After taking the puppies upstairs to the roof to do their business, I was bringing the last one in and we ran into Aloo who Mr. ATK was bringing up for her nightly ablutions. Aloo did not take kindly to this other pup in my arms and started jumping on me and snapping at the little guy. Fortunately, for little Fido (they didn't have names yet and I don't remember which it was), she did not get him. Unfortunately for me, she did get a nice chunk of my elbow. (Don't worry she didn't draw blood or anything.) 

The next day (that would be Day 2, not even a full 24 hours with the puppies yet) we had all the dogs on the roof playing together. It was a real kum bah ya moment. I thought Aloo had gotten over her jealously and all and life would be good once again in the Drummond, er, ATK household. (I don't think you realize how exhausting it is to have 4 dogs and to always keep one physically separated from the others.) I started to think, Maybe this wasn't such a terrible idea. Look at all the cuteness! They are so cute!!!

But then...Food Bowl Gate struck. 

We were herding all the dogs down from the roof with the intention of giving them baths (the puppies were infested with ticks).  Nimbu managed to wander over to Aloo's food dish while we were trying to get everyone into the bathroom and took a bite of food, prompting Aloo to absolutely lose her shit. I think she tried to eat that little puppy. Lots of snarling, growling, biting, barking, and screeching ensued from all dogs. It was awful. The puppies now have PTSD and we are back to square one with keeping the dogs separated. 

PTSD puppies... sounds like it could be a very special episode of Diff'rent Strokes. 

*Kidding Aloo is house trained. For the most part. She still has accidents, though, but we suspect she is just being petulant. 

** Just to clarify, I didn't try to carry the puppies in a plastic bag or anything. It was a tote bag.

So I was walking the dog the other day....

Now, before I start, I realize that in my last post I said I don't want to be one of those people who talks about their dog all the time and here I am, not one post later, talking about my dog. Quite frankly, it doesn't bode well for the future. But before I get flooded with comments saying, "Stop telling me where your dog took a crap and tell me about India!" this is a really interesting story. Er, well, maybe I mean, "This is a story." (I wish I could figure out how to do strike through on this.)

So there are many dogs in India--wild and domesticated. Since I'm in a fancier neighborhood, most of the pet dogs are pure breeds (dalmatians, pugs, labs, golden retrievers, etc.) We happen to have a rescued dog which is an Indian Native dog. She looks like a yellow lab, though, so she can pass in what I imagine are the higher doggy castes of India. But really, although she looks fancy, she is a doggy dalit.

Anyways, the street dogs are generally not very aggressive (unlike the street dogs in other countries--Bolivia, I'm looking at you!). Generally there seems to be an unspoken doggy-human social contract here where they don't bother you, and you don't hit them in the head with a giant stick. However, if you happen to be walking a puppy, then all bets are off. In fact, those street dogs will come after you with some ferocity which is why all dog owners seem to carry a special dog hitting stick when they walk their dogs. (I'm not kidding about it being a special stick. It's clearly some sort of purchased bamboo rod, not, like, some branch you break off a tree.) It's not as bad as I'm making it sound, I suppose. Usually in the middle of the day, it's too hot and the street dogs are pretty lethargic. They don't charge you with the same passion and commitment that they do when it's 6 in the morning and the streets are empty. Lazy dogs.

But I digress... the point I'm trying to make is that there are a lot of dogs here. And where you find many dogs, you also usually find a lot of dog poop. People are not in the habit of picking up after their dogs here. (Nor are they in the habit of doing that in any other country I've been too, except the US, so I'm not saying it to be judge-y or anything.) It seems to me people hire domestic staff and those people are expected to clean up around the outsides of their homes (you know, sweep the sidewalk and stuff.)

So I'm walking the dog and she poops in front of some guy's house. Now the house and small yard are enclosed with a gated fence, so it's not technically in his yard or anything. It would have been right in street in front of his driveway. Now, it's weird for me to walk a dog and let it poop and not pick it up. It just seems wrong, you know, because of social norms and mores and all that jazz that we live with in America. But, you know, if I don't have to carry around a steaming bag of poop with me as I walk through the neighborhood, I'm not going to. Plus, I'd probably be labelled as "The Weird White Lady who Carries a Bag of Poop with Her."

Anyways, the guy apparently saw us leaving this present in front of his house and so he follows me don't the street and confronts me. Now I don't deal with confrontation well, and I do feel guilty for not picking up after the dog (despite the fact that no one else here does!) So the guy is all, "Excuse me!" (in a polite way--it was actually a cordial conversation, not like I imagine the conversation would be if it were between two New Yorkers for example.) So here's the exchange:

Indian guy: Excuse me! Excuse me! Ma'am!

Me: Uh, yes?

Indian guy: Your dog just went to the bathroom in front of my house and you just left it there.

Me: Uh... yeah...

Indian guy: Where are you from?

Me: The United States...

Indian guy: Would you do that in your own country?

Me: Uh... no.

Indian guy: But you do it here in our country? (Here he gets a tad bit on the sanctimonious side.) You treat our country like this? We look up to you.

Me: Uh... I'm sorry, but there is poop everywhere here. I didn't know I was supposed to pick it up.

Indian guy: We look up to you. We go to your country and tell everybody how clean it is and how we should be that way. We want to be like you and here you are acting like us. (He gets that disappointed parental tone there.)

At this point I had several things going through my head. First, "Well, of course I'm acting more like you, I'm in India." I mean, there are lots of things I would do in America that I wouldn't do here--like wear a tank top, for example. Or take a taxi alone at night. Or wear a miniskirt or short shorts. (Okay, so I don't really do those last two things anyway, but it's the principle that I'm talking about here.)

Second, I think, "Postmodernist and critical race theorist would have a field day with this guy." You see, the whole idea of us (Americans/Westerners/white people(?)) being this paragon to aspire to, while their own culture or whatever is somehow wrong is very interesting. Like, would he have confronted an Indian person whose dog pooped in front of his house? I should start carrying around poop because I would do it at home? (I also kept thinking, "Yeah, it's also illegal in most cities to not pick up after your dog." You know, in addition to being considered incredibly rude.) Does he think that if I pick up after my dog, I'll start some new trend among all the other dog owners? (Quite frankly, I think I'll just be seen as the "Crazy Lady who Carries Poop.") Should I do it anyways because "it's the right thing to do"? I mean, there are all sorts of things that are acceptable in foreign cultures, but I wouldn't do them just because I can. Littering, for example. Or animal abuse. So many thought-provoking questions. Any thoughts, People Who Might Be Reading This?

If he had just gotten upset because the dog pooped in front of his house and he thinks that's gross, it would be one thing. But to frame it as "You should act better than we do" because, apparently, I should be better than they are, and to act disappointed that I acted in accordance to local custom... is kinda weird. I guess it's not terribly uncommon, though. It reminds me of the time in Bolivia when I was taking the bus back to my village and, as usual, the bus was running late. It was supposed to leave at 3 pm and it was around 3:15 and still being loaded. One very impatient lady kept yelling, "It's time to go! Come on!" and then looked at me and said, "This is the reason why Bolivia is not advancing! In your country the buses leave on time, right?" And I just nodded, but in my head I was thinking, There are a lot of pressing issues preventing Bolivia's growth and tardy buses does not even crack my top ten. (Though I guess it could be indicative of the larger problem.)

Anyways, so that's my story about walking the dog.