Have you seen this potato?

This potato?

No. Not that potato. The potato I'm talking about is skinny and white. Covered in fur. Has four legs. Likes to chew on furniture.

Oh. Uh...How about this potato?

Yep. That's the potato I'm talking about!

Yes, Dear Reader, the day that every dog owner dreads has finally happened. Aloo ran away.  (Spoiler alert: I found her. I don't want you to get all sad and worried.)

So here's what happened. It was early December*. Mr. ATK had left for Dubai the week before so it was just me and Aloo and two more rescue puppies.  Because I can't trust Aloo in the house by herself (and she broke the door to her kennel so I couldn't crate her) nor could I trust her alone with the puppies, I had to keep Aloo on one side of the roof and the puppies on the other. 

At this time, there were workers in the other apartments, getting them ready for the next tenants. On my way out, I stopped by the apartment with all the people working in it to tell them that there were dogs on the roof.  I usually mark the door by weaving the dog's leash through the door handle, but it never hurts to actually verbally tell people what that means. So I pop into the apartment and tell the foreman, "Hey, there are dogs on the roof, so, you know, be careful if you go upstairs." 

The foreman is all, "Yes, I know. Dogs on the roof. Gotcha. Don't worry."

So off I went to the mall, Christmas shopping for Mr. ATK.  

Oh, but before going to the mall, I stopped by the German Embassy for their annual Christmas mela** because I heard they sold real bratwurst and German beer. And while beer isn't that tough to find here, I certainly have not come across any bratwurst. Plus, I was told there would be sauerkraut. 

Overall, it was good. Of course, I paid $5.00 to get into the mela and then $7.00 for the plate of food making my bratwurst and German potato salad (with no sauerkraut, by the way) one of the most expensive brats I have ever had. I wasn't even at a Brewer's game. 

But yeah, so I went to the mall and came home and was greeted by the guard with, "I think the white dog is gone." 

Huh? 

The guard's English isn't that great, so I went inside and ran up to the roof. Of course, the front door to the building was wide open and all the workers were still working. But the roof door was slightly ajar and Aloo was nowhere to be seen.

So I run back downstairs and my driver is like, "He says Aloo ran away."

"When? What happened?" 

"About 10 minutes ago. He says some workers came and he opened the gate and then Aloo ran."

Meanwhile all the workers are just hanging out painting or whatever and when I tried to ask them about it, they just shrugged. Of course, the language barrier is an issue, but still...

Now, I get that leaving my dog in a communal space is not the best move, but I can't really leave her in the house because she destroys everything (we are still working on getting her used to being alone.) It's not my personal roof for only my use, but I told the people she would be up there and they were like, "That's cool."

So here's what really bugs me about the whole thing. Someone went up to the roof and opened the door allowing Aloo to escape. But there are two other entrances between the roof and the street: 1) the front door to the building and 2) the gate to the street. Apparently after whoever let her out, she was running around inside the building and the car park area. So everyone knew there was a dog, all of a sudden, on the loose. And yet no one did anything. No one was like, "Oops, I let this dog off the roof." Or was like, "Why is this crazy dog running around?" 

So they just left her and didn't say anything. They didn't alert the guard, who could have called my driver or my housekeeper. And so when the guard opened the gate to let someone in, he had no idea Aloo was on the loose and waiting by the gate. Not at all surprisingly, when the gate opened, Aloo made a bee line out the door and was off to roam the streets.

Now the guard can't just abandon his post to chase a dog, so I don't really blame him. I blame the douche who let Aloo out and who, instead of saying something (such as, "Oh shit, I opened the door to the roof and a dog just ran out"), just went about the rest of his day while the dog was on the loose inside the property.

So anyways, the guard indicates which way Aloo ran and Vicky-ji (my driver) and I set out to find her. I figured she would probably stay around the area she was familiar with and I'd find her playing with the grubby street dogs that I never let her play with. Vicky is asking all the people we pass if they've seen a white dog. At first it seemed like we were on the right track as various people were indicating that they has seen lil' Aloo and that he went thisaway or thataway. But then the leads grew cold. Vicky and I decided to split up.

So now I'm alone wandering through the neighborhood yelling "Aloo!" which, if you are not aware, means 'potato' in Hindi. Imagine you are sitting outside on a nice fall day and all of a sudden some crazy foreigner comes down your street yelling "Potato!" repeatedly. I can only imagine what the legions of drivers, guards, and everyone else that was outside thought of me while I was doing this. Sometimes I would chuckle to myself as I'd see them giving me the side eye during my hunt. I guess that's one of the perils of naming a pet after a vegetable in a foreign language.

But anyways, I continue to walk around Aloo's standard walking route with no success. About 45 minutes have now passed and I'm starting to get worried. I mean there's a lot that could happen to a dog here--tons of cars and packs of street dogs are just two of the dangers. As I'm kind of working myself up, a guard on a Scooter drives up and says he has seen my dog. (I don't recall if he was an Embassy guard or not. He may have been, though I didn't realize it at the time.) 

Yeah... so this guy says he's seen my dog....but that she ran away from him and he is chasing her and will catch her. I tried to tell him that Aloo is scared of everyone who is not me, Mr. ATK, our housekeeper, and our driver and that the more he chased, the more she would run. That worried me, because she might run too far or cross into a different neighborhood without being able to find her way back. Still the guy assures me he is on the case and speeds away. 

I continue to basically canvas the same four block area that I had been canvas for the past 45 minutes. Still yelling "Potato" and still having Indian people look at me funny. And you know how it goes. You start thinking, maybe you won't find the dog, especially with helpful people like Senor Moped trying to chase her down but really driving her further away. After 15 minutes along this line of thinking, I started getting sad, thinking maybe I wouldn't ever find Aloo. (You know how emotional we women are.***) 

All of a sudden an SUV passes by and stops and some men get out. Their clothing indicated they were guards or security people of some kind. Then I saw the "On Embassy Duty" sign on the car. 

"Ma'am," the leader says, "we hear your dog is missing. We are trying to find it. One man saw it not to long ago."

Well, now I just about lost it. I totally started crying. And nothing makes men more uncomfortable than a woman crying.**** They were all, "Don't worry. We'll find your dog." And I was like, "It's not your job to look for my dog. You have more important things to do." Of course you have picture the intermittent sniffling occurring as I'm saying this. 

They were like, "No, no, it's our job to help you." (It's totally not.) "Don't cry, ma'am, we'll find your dog."

I don't know why I got all sniffly. They were very awkward, which I found amusing at the time, even when I was trying not to cry. Luckily about 5 minutes after they pulled up, they received a radio message that Aloo was found. There was audible relief as they relayed the message along with an unspoken, "Stop crying now, Lady."

Turns out Vicky found Aloo totally not near any normal walking route. And, since Vicky is one of the four people Aloo likes, she came right to him when he called. 

And we all lived happily ever after.

*I actually started writing this post in December but got sidetracked. So perhaps it seems a little outdated, but I can't let a good story go to waste.

** "Mela" means "fair" in Hindi
*** Sarcasm
****I find this is true in all cultures. I'm fairly sure the only reason Mr. ATK proposed was to get me to stop crying. Whatever works, amiright?

This was a terrible idea...

How was your Columbus Day?

Mine was spent with Mr. ATK in the holy city of Rishikesh. Well, not really in the city, but outside the city camping on a beautiful white sand beach along the Ganges. We went whitewater rafting, kayaking, played badminton, you know, all the things you do in idyllic places like that. But that's not the terrible idea I am talking about. I did get an ayurvedic massage while on the trip which uses a lot of oil and includes a head massage so my hair ended up really greasy. Also the fine white sand sticks to everything so the massage had an exfoliating element to it. So, in retrospect, I consider that a questionable decision, but not a terrible idea.

No, Dear Reader, the terrible idea I am talking about was my volunteering to foster three 50 day old Indian street dogs so they wouldn't be put back out on street. So within the space of 8 months, I have gone from having no dogs to having four. And little fifty day old puppies are not house trained. Of course, neither is Aloo so I guess they have some common ground.*

But anyways, much to Mr. ATK's chagrin, we agreed to take in the puppies. I really wanted to do it, he was less than enthusiastic but when  asked him if he was okay with it, he did one of those passive-aggressive "If that's what you really want" things, so now we have extra puppies. 

Here they are:

               

Nimbu

Russell

Norman

Three extra puppies is a lot of work. Shocking insight, I know. Did I think it would be work? Yes. Did I think it would be this much work? Eh... probably not. I figured we could use Aloo's old wire crate to keep the puppies in the apartment and during the day they could stay in the servant's quarters on the roof. They are too small for walks, so that's less work right there. Right? Right?! 

Wrong. 

Puppies pee. A lot. Seriously, it's amazing how much they pee. Always peeing. And it's hard to move three puppies at a time. So when we were keeping them in the house, every hour I had to take them one at a time up the stairs to the roof. I tried carrying two under my arms and putting one in a bag,** but the one in the bag didn't enjoy that experience. It was hard to get him in the bag and then pick up two other puppies before puppy number 1 scrambled out of the bag.  Then we trying carrying the together in a laundry basket, but they kept trying to climb out while in transit. And, of course, they have sharp little teeth and claws so arms and legs are quickly filled with scratches.  And then there's the fact that old dogs don't seem to like new dogs invading their territory. 

Yes, for some crazy reason, I pictured Aloo taking on a motherly/big sister role and caring lovingly for the puppies. It would be like Diff'rent Strokes. Aloo would be Kimberley, the puppies would be Arnold and Willis, I would be Mr. Drummond, and Mr. ATK would be Ms. Garrett the housekeeper (who would eventually become the dorm mother at Langley boarding school in her own spin off, The Facts of Life.) Unfortunately, unlike the Upper East Side of Manhattan, bringing home extra puppies has not resulted in increased conspiratorial shenanigans between Aloo and her new brothers and sister. Actually, quite the opposite has happened. We learned Aloo does not like to share. Aloo spent most of the first evening growling at the puppies, who we kept in a wire crate in a separate room. After taking the puppies upstairs to the roof to do their business, I was bringing the last one in and we ran into Aloo who Mr. ATK was bringing up for her nightly ablutions. Aloo did not take kindly to this other pup in my arms and started jumping on me and snapping at the little guy. Fortunately, for little Fido (they didn't have names yet and I don't remember which it was), she did not get him. Unfortunately for me, she did get a nice chunk of my elbow. (Don't worry she didn't draw blood or anything.) 

The next day (that would be Day 2, not even a full 24 hours with the puppies yet) we had all the dogs on the roof playing together. It was a real kum bah ya moment. I thought Aloo had gotten over her jealously and all and life would be good once again in the Drummond, er, ATK household. (I don't think you realize how exhausting it is to have 4 dogs and to always keep one physically separated from the others.) I started to think, Maybe this wasn't such a terrible idea. Look at all the cuteness! They are so cute!!!

But then...Food Bowl Gate struck. 

We were herding all the dogs down from the roof with the intention of giving them baths (the puppies were infested with ticks).  Nimbu managed to wander over to Aloo's food dish while we were trying to get everyone into the bathroom and took a bite of food, prompting Aloo to absolutely lose her shit. I think she tried to eat that little puppy. Lots of snarling, growling, biting, barking, and screeching ensued from all dogs. It was awful. The puppies now have PTSD and we are back to square one with keeping the dogs separated. 

PTSD puppies... sounds like it could be a very special episode of Diff'rent Strokes. 

*Kidding Aloo is house trained. For the most part. She still has accidents, though, but we suspect she is just being petulant. 

** Just to clarify, I didn't try to carry the puppies in a plastic bag or anything. It was a tote bag.