Did you ever get a hankering for some cereal after not
eating cereal in forever? What do you do? Well, I'm guessing you go to the
grocery store and buy some cereal and have a bowl. Then you either eat the
entire box within a few days or leave it to get stale on top of
your refrigerator and eventually throw it away. These are the types
of things we take for granted in our every day lives--being able to go out and
buy Lucky Charms when the mood strikes us. And then throwing the entire box
away after eating one bowl.
So about three weeks ago, I had an incredible hankering for
some Honey Nut Cheerios and Lucky Charms. The cereal is available here, but
it's like $7 a box which is just absurd. Mr. ATK would never let me spend that
much on a box of cereal, and I wouldn't really want to, especially when you can
purchase it elsewhere for cheaper. And that elsewhere happens to be Amazon.com. On amazon the cereal is considerably cheaper,
however you have to purchase it in bulk. So after having a craving for cereal
three weeks ago, Mr. ATK and I have finally received three boxes of Honey Nut
Cheerios and a 46 ounce box of Lucky Charms. Lesson learned: Living in India
doesn't make impulse cereal buying impossible, it's just when you finally get
your cereal a month has passed, the impulse is gone and now you have 7 pounds
of cereal.
But I do not regret our cereal purchase. In fact, I had a
delicious bowl of Lucky Charms for breakfast this morning for the first time in
years. It was wonderful. But what the hell happened to the marshmallows in
Lucky Charms?! Do you remember when they used to have the red balloons, yellow
diamond, green clover, purple horseshoe? Let me refresh your memory:
Note the marshmallows are like actual shapes (more or less).
I can tell that its an orange star or whatever.
So what the eff happened between between 1985 and now? While
I enjoyed my bowl of delicious Lucky Charms, I could not tell what the
marshmallows were supposed to be. I'm not expecting them to look like they do
in the commercial any more than I expect a Quarter Pounder with Cheese I buy
from the McDonald's drive-thru to look like the Quarter Pounder they show on
the McDonald's commercials. But at least I can tell that the little hockey puck-esque
sandwich with the crooked piece of cheese is a cheeseburger. I don't know what
the marshmallows are any more. The Purple horseshoe still looks like a
horseshoe, more or less. And the red balloon is a round object, so I'm going to
give them the benefit of the doubt on that one. But the rest of them? What the
hell? From what I can make out there is some sort of green square with a dark
green "x" on it. Not exactly the green clover from days of
yore. And then there seem to be a bunch of white marshmallows with some
sort of colored stripe on them. What are those? Is it a volcano? With colorful
lava? It's vaguely shaped like a triangle.
You know what makes this all extra sad? I remember in
college haughtily telling a friend at the dining hall one night that
the bowl of Lucky Charms he was enjoying for dinner was clearly off brand
because Lucky Charms had purple horseshoes, blue moons, yellow diamonds, etc.
and the slop he was eating had random shit like green squares with dark green
'x'es and white thingys with weirdo color stripes on them. Only now as I stared
at my bowl of Lucky Charms this morning did I realize that my friend was not
eating off-brand Lucky Charms all those years ago. So, Kyung, I apologize for
making fun of the cereal you were eating for dinner that night back in
1999.
Also, apparently Lucky Charms changed their marshmallow
press at least 13 years ago. Who knew?
*Warning: This blog has nothing to do with India. Don't read
it unless you are interested in the minute details of breakfast cereals. Wait?
What? You already read the whole thing? Well, I put this asterisk next to the
title for a reason. It's always important to check the footnotes.